Thursday, June 7, 2007

Comfort Zones, Part Two

This is the story of why I was feeling much less comfortable about my blog recently, and how I worked my way through it.

1. I've been getting some nasty comments from one person.
2. These comments do not penetrate me personally--it is clear to see that they are about the commenter, not about me or whatever other topics they address.
3. However, it suddenly began to feel really horrible and wrong that this angry person was looking at pictures of my daughter.
4. I considered pulling my blog, sat on the idea for a few days, and didn't like it.
5. I suddenly realized why some people use pseudonyms and rarely post photos.
6. I questioned whether it would remain worth it to keep a blog with no (or in any case, fewer) photos of Belly (pseudonym!). Posting a picture of that little strawberry blond in action really takes the pressure off the writing, you know?
7. I decided it would still be worth it.
8. I wrestled with whether or not I should even mention this change, because the last thing I want to do is engage with this commenter in any way, but decided that I want to be open and honest in my blog. Otherwise, what's the point?
9. I realized that I am in charge of how comfortable I feel writing this blog, no one else. That feels good.
10. Now, there is only one more thing I need to be truly comfortable writing this blog: a new chair! Ouch! It may take a while, but I'm in charge and I will make it happen.

To clear up any mystery, my family's new gathering place that I wrote about in my last post (the house where my parents will retire) is on an island off of Savannah, looking out over the salt marsh. It's wonderful and I feel extremely lucky--mostly for them, but also for the lovely spot! I get so tired of always being 20 minutes away from grass.

10 comments:

Deb Shucka said...

I'm really sorry to hear about the nasty comment person and want to do something unloving - but won't. I love how you're handling this - really love your courage and your brighter than bright spirit. You are such an inspiration to me - a model for life lived completely. Know that you are being surrounded by the fierce love of the circle. If you need more than that, you only have to holler.

Love you.

Carrie Wilson Link said...

Take an A, Kimmy Pie! Love the thought process, REALLY love the outcome! I'd cry a river without my Changing Trains hits!

Anonymous said...

It is very sad that someone would invade your blog space with such negativity. It is such a violation of what this whole experience is suppose to be about and having your daughter's beautiful pictures involved makes it extra creepy. Having said that, I love how you are taking the high road on this and not giving this person any power. I am very happy you came to the conclusions that you did, there is so much more goodness, caring and a real sense of protectiveness around you. Keep enjoying those comfort zones and good luck with the chair. XOXO

Jerri said...

Like the others, I'm sorry to hear that someone has been their negativity into your corner. You're so wise to know this is about the commenter rather than about you.

I'm also glad to know you're going to continue blogging despite this person's mistakes.

We are a fearsome group of women. If necessary, we'll stand between you and this person. We do and will always have your back, Kim.

Love.
j

Michelle O'Neil said...

You'll just have to send all your faithful readers private pics of Belly.

Or...you will have ot describe her in such intricate detail...that we will see her in our imaginations!

Grass for you soon. Soon!

kario said...

Ditto all those wise, wonderful women who commented before me. My suggestion on the chair, if you're feeling ambitious, is to get one of those exercise balls instead. You can play with your daughter when it's not in use, and when you're using it for a chair you can be working your abs and keeping your back strong at the same time. Plus, it's a lot cheaper than a new chair...

jennifer said...

...and here's what I say about "nasty commentor," which goes to all writers of our growing and loving community. First, accept that "nasty commentors" are out there, just like rain storms. Do we rush out without an umbrella when the rain comes...no. And, do we curse the sky for bringing us rain? Well, sometimes we do but the rain keeps coming...so, we adapt.

Here's how: #1 Nasty comment...hit delete and forget it. Really..forget it. Relax, breathe, accept, rest and let it go.

If you give "nasty comments" any juju from your mind, it's fuel for them and a drain for you. "Nasty commentors" love fear, yum yum, fear is fuel.

#2 and this is tough...if you can, see "nasty commentor" get the love he/she needs in a circle of light and then, let go.

Jess said...

I too am so glad you are keeping up the blog. I would miss it, and miss hearing about Ms. Belly.

I think its been said already, by you and everyone else here, how to deal with that Nasty Commenter. You'll be fine, but yes, I think a comfortable chair in important... Me, I just sit on the couch a lot, which I'm sure is bad for my back. But I'll be off my couch and in your direction soon!

Ask Me Anything said...

Good thinking. Glad you stayed.

Anonymous said...

your most precious commodity is your family. please keep them safe and yourself safe. i don't trust stranger's intentions. if i were you, i would keep a livejournal. that way you can invite in who you trust, and leave the strangers as just that: strange.

peace and love to you <3