"You better knock, knock, knock on wood."

Many people in my life know that I have a bit of a 'thing' for knocking on wood. Not a casual 'tap on the table' kind of thing. Not a relaxed 'I'll just knock on my head as a joke' kind of thing. More of an 'I'll leave the person I'm walking with even if they are someone I don't know well and am (or was) trying to impress, cross a busy city street against traffic, step directly through the dog poop infested pachysandra circle and knock on an ailing New York City tree' kind of thing.

So, I'm working on it. I'm a bit superstitious about other things too--I don't walk under ladders, I'm no fool, although I make an exception for fire-escape ladders because they're everywhere and I'd have to leave town--but mostly it's all in the same neighborhood: I don't want to jinx things, I don't want to tempt fate.

Although I haven't actually seen "The Secret" yet (I will ASAP), I have been spending a lot of time lately talking about it and thinking about it, and I have come to believe that there is tremendous power in directly asking the universe for what you want, in positive energy, in faith. After years of working on self-help books, you'd think I'd know this, and I did know it enough to talk about it before--but not enough to feel it. Otherwise, why would I be so afraid to say anything positive without canceling it out with a knock?

I have discovered that all of my superstitious leanings exist to counteract any positive thinking I might do. "I haven't had the flu in three years...knock on wood." "My computer has never crashed...knock on wood." "Isabel is very healthy, thanks...KNOCK ON WOOD." And as silly as it all sounds, this way of thinking is a poison that spreads everywhere. One example: I keep a notebook of Isabel's eating and sleeping schedule each day, and usually once she's down for the night, I'll write in tomorrow's date...but I always pause, wondering, is this a good idea? To just assume that she will be alive tomorrow? And that feeling is not good.

So I am going to stop the madness. I am going to realize that people aren't sitting in their houses, car keys in hand, just waiting for me to exclaim that there's surprisingly little traffic on the road so they can scramble into their cars and hightail it to where I'm driving. It's not the case.

If your thoughts play a large part in determining your destiny, which I believe, then I am going to shake off my fear of positive thoughts. I will think them and I will embrace them. I think--no, I know--it will go well.