The drama of my last post represented how it has felt to realize what dangers still lurk in the vaccines and flu shot that I have had injected into my baby daughter, regardless of what my "top-level New York doctors" have told me. Isabel is fine, and has a statistically decent chance of remaining that way--but considering that I feed her 100% organic, and I am still not giving her wheat or egg whites or honey or, god forbid, peanut butter (it will be YEARS), it's pretty hard for me to swallow that I have allowed thimerosal (which is mercury, a potently harmful neurotoxin) to be injected directly into her blood stream several different times.
For those of you who are neither fans of The Matrix nor married to TT (whose high testosterone levels mask an inner geek whose favorite movies all come in trilogies), choosing the red pill sends Keanu Reeves into the crazy, dark underworld that is actually "reality"--whereas choosing the blue pill would have left him in the daily world as we perceive it, ignorant and blissful. Morpheus (his mentor) presents him with the choice this way: "After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes....Remember... all I'm offering is the truth. Nothing more."
Once you swallow the red pill, you can't go back. I was very comfortable trusting my extremely well-qualified doctors. I respect how important vaccines are to public health. I understand that the reason people don't perceive measles, mumps, etc. to be a threat is directly because of these vaccines, and our continued safety from these dangerous diseases depends on them. What I find very difficult to swallow, though, is the fact that poisonous thimerosal is still being used as a preservative for some of these vaccines and the flu shot (except in CA and IA, where it has been banned--legislation is still pending on this in several other states including NY), along with the fact that children are "encouraged" (read: practically forced) to receive these vaccines so early in their infancy, bundled together in such potent combinations, and regardless of whether or not they are immune compromised with a cold or stomach bug at the time of the vaccination.
And let me tell you, dear reader, it is not the doctors, or the scientists, or the media who is responsible for these transgressions: it is the industry that holds so many of them in its pockets. The pharmaceutical industry.
Please know that although I am now beginning to read, research, and educate myself the best I can, I am NOT qualified to educate anyone else on this topic. What I am struggling with is the heart-breaking end of a relationship: my life-long trust and faith in the medical establishment. I still think New York City has many of the best doctors and hospitals in the world, and I still believe that these doctors are brilliant, valiant, and doing the best they can...but I no longer believe that they are always right, or that they always know more than I do.
I have read this
and this
and this.
I've seen this
and this.
No one can deny the growing epidemic of autism, ADHD, OCD, allergies, and asthma in today's children. I am no conspiracy theorist, but I have swallowed the red pill and I cannot go back. Neither can Isabel, but I vow to protect her with all that I have--which is more of my heart and brain than I have used up until very recently-- and to forgive myself for the mistakes that I have made so far.
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12 comments:
Great writing, great courage, keep to your truth!
Thank you for this information and your committment to the truth. I just cancelled Bella's vac. appt. for Monday, until I do better research. What is exhasperating is that I cannot get her into school without them.
It's all a balancing act, Kim! We cannot know it all or do it all as parents or human beings. Committing ourselves to doing our best is gift enough to our children. You are a terrific mother and Isabel will recognize that and appreciate it as she grows.
I admire your willingness to see and say the truth. It's what we're about here, and truth is truth. What a lucky baby your daughter is - as well as being unbelievably cute!
Looking back I wish I'd known what I know now, I would have been WAY pushier/fiestier/bossy. No matter how you slice it, motherhood is guilt ridden! I know Wil's needs are not vaccine related, but who knows how much the vacines exacerbated his needs?
I will look forward to checking out those links and learning more. I admire your dedication to the Right Thing and send you blessings as you continue your pursuit of The Truth.
Isn't it odd how The Truth is so inexplicably hard to find? xo
Kim, you trusted people who were supposed to know. That's all. You were duped like almost every other parent in America. Now you are aware and you are learning more. That is to be commended.
P.S. My kids are exempted from any further vaccines. They have a doctor's letter. No one has given us any trouble about it.
Good for you, Kim. For learning as much as you can, for standing up for your daughter, for forgiving yourself for being human.
Great post and truly great mothering.
So grateful to you and Michelle both for blogging on this issue which I presume I'll face one day soon.
BTW...Belly...what a cute nickname!
I am SOOO with you, Kim. I practically forced myself to get one vaccine in 2+ years for River, after I made her 'very progressive' pediatrician vow that it was the safest, no trace of therimosol, etc. But I still feel so guilty about it.
One of the hardest parts for me around this issue is researching alone (maybe it's my own ADD?). So if you want to stay in conversation about it, I have a few books to recommend. I'm worried about going to OR and enrolling her in school, not sure if they require vaccines by law.
Thanks for the links. And in solidarity, let us proceed fearlessly to find the truth.
Count me in on this dialogue too. So glad to see you writing about this topic. So glad to have a pediatrition
who believes that it's my choice and never pressured me aboutit.
Such important info to share. Thank you (and michelle) for focusing on it.
wow-I found your blog thru a blog thru a blog-and it is so nice to know that someone OTHER than a parent of a child with autism or ADHD cares enough to protect their child. I wish I would have been more like you. my child is 7-has autism and i know that his vaccinations added to his issues. The word needs to spread-and it can't all come from emotional parents of children already diagnosed with a disorder. Thank you.
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